My Window

Blood doesn’t always = family

“Ellis Ellis! Guess what?” Maya exclaimed, meeting Ellis halfway up the stairs. 

“What is it?”

“Mrs. Haley said that a family is coming to see a kid they matched with! What if it’s one of us and they want to adopt us?”

“They won’t,” a despondent voice cut in from the bottom step. Maya turned to look. “They never do. They only want the little kids.”

The smile dropped from Maya’s face, but she came back quickly with a hopeful reply, “But what if they do? Maybe we can all stay together.”

“Even if they do want you, they won’t take us too.”

“Why do you always have to be so grumpy about it, Tyler?” she asked.

“Because I was Ellis’s age when we got here. No one’s ever looked at me twice. Once they find out they need to take us both, they look elsewhere.”

“Well, maybe if you smiled more, they would,” Maya retorted.

Immediately, she regretted her words. She had hit a nerve, and she knew it. Tyler was fuming; they could tell, but all he did was roll his eyes and walk away, not wanting to pick a fight.

“You know, he used to smile more,” Ellis pointed out to her. “Remember?”

“Yeah, I do. I’m sorry. I know he’s just sad, but he always says no so fast. What if we do find a family?”

“I want to think that could happen, but I’ve been here just as long as him, and I’m starting to get why he feels that way.”

Ellis looked over the railing in the direction Tyler went.

“I’m gonna go talk to him, Maya. I’ll meet you outside.”

“Can I come with? I want to say sorry. I shouldn’t have said that, I know. I wasn’t trying to be mean, I was just,” she paused, “hoping it could be different this time.”

“I know, Maya. Just give him a minute to cool off. I’ll tell him.”

“Okay. Thanks.” She gave a melancholic smile, and they both descended the stairs. Maya opened the creaky door to the front porch of the house and sat on the top step with her arms crossed, resting on her knees.

“Is it so bad to hope for something good?” she vented to the air and slumped over, resting her head on top.

Ellis went towards the back door where Tyler had gone and spotted him just out the window.

“Tyler, Maya says she’s sorry. She didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”

“I know. I just-”

“Whoa, Tyler, are you okay?”

Ellis noticed the broken pieces of a ceramic mug sprawled around the side table in front of him and the blood running down the side of Tyler’s hand.

“How can she think that we’ll ever get to leave this place with a family?” Tyler said, hitting the porch post in frustration. “She’s been thrown around for almost 3 years now and here for over a year and she’s still skipping around like she never lost a thing.”

“You know that’s not true. I think she’d just rather believe that something good will happen.”

“She always looks at me with that grin; I can’t stand it. She’s like a little sister and her cheery nature is gonna get us separated. I-” he stopped. “I just wish that someone would remember that I’m a kid too.”

Ellis froze, unsure what to say. He stepped closer, hugged his older brother, and didn’t let go until Tyler asked.

“You’re right. It isn’t fair,” Ellis endorsed.

Tyler looked down. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Tyler.”

“Do you think there’s any chance someone would adopt all of us, Tyler?”

“I don’t know, Ellis. I guess we’ll just have to see. If we’re not adopted in 3 years, once I age out, I’ll come get you guys, and we can do whatever we want.”

“That sounds awesome,” Ellis smiled wide and hugged Tyler again. “Now come on, it’s dinner time, and we need to clean your hand.”

“Okay, coming.”

The next day-

Maya opened the back screen door of the wrap-around porch and spotted Ellis to the right. Her heart quickened as the prospect of the conversation loomed in her mind. She had waited all day but had to tell him at some point. The orange glow of the evening clouds made his loose brown curls look red. She walked up to him and was greeted happily.

“Hey Maya, I’ve been looking for you. How’d it go?”

“Ellis,” Maya said, a twinge of guilt on her face.

“What is it? Is everything okay?”

The chirping of crickets felt extra loud that night.

“The- the family, the Fishers.”

“Yeah?”

“They want to adopt me.”

“Maya, that’s great!” He looked at her, smiling, but was not met with a smile back.

“Oh.” The enthusiasm dropped from his voice. “Just you.”

His disappointment hung heavy in the air.

“Did you ask? Are you sure?”

Maya bowed her head in shame. The relief of being wanted suddenly felt so selfish.

“I asked. They said they can only take one. They have two young kids. They were matched with me and said that when they saw me playing with the littles, they thought it would be a good fit.”

“So, are you going?”

“I think I should.” A tear streamed down her face. “I don’t want to leave without you, but I don’t want to stay here, Ellis. I want a family again.”

“I thought we were your family.”

“You are, you are, but you know what I mean. I want to be a kid, not a name on a paper for someone to decide if I’m,” she paused searching for the word, “lovable, or not.”

Ellis didn’t say anything; he just pulled her in for a hug. He was trying not to be upset with her. He knew it wasn’t her fault. He felt the same way, and he knew it wouldn’t last. They didn’t have much power, if any.

“Who takes 3 kids that aren’t all related?” he reminded himself.

He let go of the hug.

“Ellis, I’m sorry.”

“I’ll- I’ll see you later,” he said, wiping his tears with his sleeve and went back inside, accidentally letting the screen door slam behind him.

Maya was left standing on the back porch, alone. She sat down on the edge and leaned her head against the post. Tears trickled down her face. She hadn’t even known Ellis for that long, but he was her best friend, and Tyler was like an older brother to her. She didn’t want to leave them. They had spent every day together for over a year, and once she left, she would probably never see them again.

After the sun had set completely, Maya grabbed the post and pulled herself up, wiping the tears from her face. She didn’t want Ellis to tell Tyler; she had to do it. She owed him that much. Ever since she walked through the front doors of the group home, Tyler had always been protective of her. She wasn’t sure why, though. She had managed to get into trouble from day 1, yet his rebellions always made her seem minor. No matter the punishment for his acting out, he always seemed to be completely unfazed and do it all again the next day. Tyler was cold to Mrs. Haley and seemed to make it his life goal to make her miserable, but he was always kind to the kids and had taken a liking to Maya, seeing as she was Ellis’s best friend. Tyler had been hard to get along with at times, but most kids in the group home and other homes she’d been in had outbursts of some sort, so it wasn’t unusual to Maya. Her parents were that way, after all.